


I made all the right mistakes (and stumbled into you)

by anotherouatwriter



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Tattoos, And Regina only has one tattoo, Basically Emma is a player and has her skin covered in tattoos., F/F, R0bin is here but we dislike him, Soulmate tattoo AU with a twist., Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Swan-Mills Family Fluff (Once Upon a Time), Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-09-28 02:08:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20418128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anotherouatwriter/pseuds/anotherouatwriter
Summary: In a world where the name of each and every person you’ve slept with is tattooed in your skin until you find your soulmate, Emma Swan pretends to be proud of her ink.But what happens when she meets a woman that only has one tattoo? And why can’t Emma just move past her?





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [I made all the right mistakes [ Art ]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20500262) by [RedDove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedDove/pseuds/RedDove). 

> First and foremost thanks Chris and Luisa, for brainstorming plot ideas and helping me when I was stuck. Thank you for being my cheerleaders, even before I enrolled for SQSN. 
> 
> To the amazing reddovee, the mind behind my amazing artwork. #LatinoPower.
> 
> Big thanks to my beta, Lowezec, for her patience with my hundred mails and the hard work editing this story. 
> 
> Last but not least, thanks to the wonderful team behind Swan Queen Supernova for all their dedication.

As she is getting out from the cab, Regina studies the club where Zelena had told her to go. The name  _ Rabbit Hole _ fits the establishment like a glove. It looks like your below average dive bar where people go only to find someone to engage in sexual relations. It was so unlike Regina Mills. She didn't belong in a dirty bar where you could catch a venereal disease just from sitting on a sticky chair, or lung cancer from breathing the smoky air. No, she belonged in a country club, drinking mimosas during brunch and going on horseback rides with her friends. 

The red neon sign is blinking, excessively trying to catch her attention, inviting her to come in. She still doesn't know what possessed her to take Zelena’s advice and come to this seedy place. Her half sister is notorious for having stupid ideas and this one has to be among the top five. But, Regina is desperate to take her mind off Robin’s latest - and last - betrayal, she just hopes that her rebound doesn't come with herpes. 

Just as she gathers the courage to enter, the front doors fly wide open and a person is shoved out. It all happens so fast that Regina doesn't have time to register what is going on, let alone react, until the person is colliding against her and sending them both towards the ground. 

“Oomph” is the only thing Regina manages to vocalise before her back crashes against the hard pavement. 

“Mother fucker!” The person manages to use their hands to stop falling completely on top of Regina. “Are you ok?” they ask with concern. 

Slowly, Regina starts to understand what is going on. There is a woman laying on top of her, blonde curls falling freely around her head, a thigh pressing between Regina's two legs. It is for sure a compromising position, one that would look misleading to whomever had not been present a couple of seconds ago. 

"Would - you - mind?" Regina asks out of breath, although she doesn't know if it is due to the impact or the other woman's stunningly beautiful face. She’s never been attracted to a female, but there’s always a first time for everything.

"Oh, right!" The blonde stands up quickly, wipes her hands on her jeans and offers one of her hands to Regina; "I'm Emma, Emma Swan" she says as she helps Regina to her feet. 

"Regina Mills" she answers automatically, as she dusts off her clothing. 

Her night is ruined. She probably looks like a mess now. Who would want to have sex with someone who looks as if someone had just run them into the ground - quite literally. There is probably no point of even trying anymore. She should just call a cab and go home. Maybe have a nice bubble bath. 

"You're not going in?" Emma asks, pointing with her thumb to the door behind her. 

"No, not looking like this," Regina replies while she tries to hail a cab. 

"What's wrong with how you look?" The blonde seems confused; "I mean, you do look a bit out of place but I don't -" 

"Excuse me?” Regina interrupts with a defensive tone. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Hey, hey! I didn't mean anything bad by it. I just meant that you don’t seem like a regular," Emma raises her hands up. “I mean by your clothing; you look too classy for this kind of establishment.”

“I came looking for someone to forni -,” she takes a deep breath, Zelena has told her million times not to use her dictionary lexicon. It’s against her nature but she knows she can do this: “I came looking for someone to  _ fuck  _ me.” Regina spits the word with disgust. 

“Talk about plot twist.” Emma whistles. “Well, if you’re still in the mood, I’m at your service, my lady," she comments as she bows low, like a gentleman.

“You don't even know me.” Regina judges her.

“Oh, sorry, were you planning to meet the love of your life tonight?" Emma mocks her, but her tone is more playful than offensive. "Because that’s not how this works... especially in places like this” she nods towards the dive. 

Regina sighs. She knows Emma is right. She just doesn't want to acknowledge the fact that she's only looking for a one night stand. She never imagined herself in this situation. Emma is not a bad option, Regina reckons. She has a pretty face and a fit body. Plus she emanates a calm nature that Regina can't help but be drawn to; as if something was tugging Regina towards the blonde. 

From below her long sleeves, Regina can make out a couple of tattoos on each wrist. 

"I have experience, if that's what you're worried about." Emma says with pride, rolling her sleeves up. There must be at least ten names tattooed on Emma's left forearm alone. 

_ Tattoos _ . That was exactly what brought Regina to this dive in the first place. Every time you slept with someone who was not your soulmate, their name would magically appear on your skin. Said tattoos would stay inked in your body until you find, and make love to, your soulmate. Everyone knew that soulmates were more of a rarity than a rule, so most married people had at least one to three tattoos, but a lot of people always yearned to find theirs. Having a soulmate was the ultimate love story that every girl dreamt of. Her own tattoo is a reminder of her failed love, scorched onto her skin.

The roar of a motorcycle brings her back to reality. She looks to the side to see Emma on top of a black Harley Davidson. Of course Emma is the type of bad girl who owns a Harley. With her helmet already on, Regina can only see Emma's green eyes and pointy nose.

"Look, princess, I'm not gonna beg," Emma yells over the sound of the engine. "You in or not?" Emma asks and offers her a helmet. 

It takes Regina less than second to grab the helmet. The fact that the blonde had an extra helmet with her spoke volumes about Emma's expectations for the night; at least it showed that Emma was not completely reckless and put security first.

"For the record," Regina adds as she straddles the Harley and snakes her arms around Emma's waist’ "I'm much more of a queen, not a princess." 


	2. II

The ride is silent, save for the engine’s purr. Regina’s arms hold onto Emma’s waist tighter as they pick up speed; it’s almost unnoticeable but it makes Emma smile. She likes independent women, but there’s something sexy about needing someone in a scary situation. 

Around them, the city is almost dead. It’s not unusual, Storybrooke is not a big city with a diverse nightlife. There are a couple of night clubs, bars and dives, but Emma can count those on her two hands. 

Emma pulls over in front of her building and taps on one of Regina’s arms to let her know she can let go now. She wonders if Regina fell asleep, but then she turns around and she sees the brunette studying the three story building; probably debating if this is still a good idea. Emma knows it’s not about the construction per se, but about what’s about to happen inside the building. 

“Come on,” Emma encourages her. “You’ll be more comfortable once you’re inside.” she adds, speaking from experience. 

Regina takes in her surroundings as she follows Emma into the building. Emma tries to lighten the mood as they climb the stairs, telling Regina how long she has lived here and how she and some of her neighbors keep on making changes on the building so it looks more cozy. From the hallway, Regina can tell that the building is old but well kept; obviously the tenants put time and money into maintenance. 

Emma’s apartment is one of the two apartments on the third floor. The blonde opens the door in silence and motions Regina to enter ahead of her. Emma’s home could be defined as an oxymoron, is both messy and minimalist, mature and childish. 

The walls are white, one is decorated with a couple of simple art pieces while another has three shelves where some books and plants are neatly placed. In the living room there’s a minimalist electric blue, three-seater couch and a vintage, bright yellow armchair, between them a three-legged wooden table. Nothing is meant to go together, but somehow it looks perfect. Regina wonders if Emma’s personality is like that too. 

“You want something to drink?” Emma offers, placing the keys on the kitchen island. “I’ve got rum, vodka and gin. I can also make you a cocktail.” 

Regina raises an eyebrow, “You know how to make cocktails?” 

Emma shrugs; “I used to work as a bartender to pay the bills through college.” 

“What did you finish?” 

“Architecture and lighting design.” 

“Aren’t you a box of surprises?” Regina asks, genuinely surprised and Emma shrugs again, as if it’s not a big deal, she’s probably used to this small talk after all. “I’ll have a cosmo.” the brunette adds. She’s more of a wine girl but she needs something stronger or else she’ll lose her nerve.

Emma nods and starts gathering the ingredients while Regina continues to look around. The collection of books on the shelves are a mix of interior design and classic literature books. The artwork varies from photos to modern art to cartoon-like drawings. 

“Here you go,” Emma hands her the pink drink. “Cheers,” she adds raising her own glass, also containing a cosmo. 

Regina downs her drink in one go, “Alright, let’s do this.” she says after gulping. 

Emma looks confused at the brunette’s eagerness, it’s obvious that Regina is not the type of person to just have a quick fuck. But, she has never been one to say no to someone who is so willing. She sets her untouched drink and Regina’s empty glass down and cuts the distance between them. 

“If you change your mind- ” 

“Just fuck me already,” Regina interrupts her, before grabbing Emma by the neck and crashing their lips together. 

Regina’s sudden action takes Emma by surprise and makes her lose her balance and they both end up on the couch, Regina below Emma. They make out for a while, before Emma decides to move her mouth away from Regina’s lips to start nipping along the brunette’s jaw up to her earlobe. Regina whimpers as she digs her fingertips into the blonde’s hip and starts grinding against Emma. Emma is so turned on by all these things Regina does.

“Bed.” Emma suggests, because she needs more space to do all the things she plans to do to Regina. The brunette hooks her legs around Emma’s waist, correctly assuming that the blonde can and will carry her to the bedroom. 

Once she’s standing and Regina is secure in her arms, Emma starts walking towards her room, kissing and licking the exposed neck she has in front of her. She doesn’t bother with switching the lights in the living room off. She has never been one to be shy with the lights on, and if Regina doesn’t mind, then it’s all the same to her.

Emma drops Regina softly on her bed before removing her shirt and lying on top of Regina. Slowly, she starts unbuttoning Regina’s expensive shirt, savoring the moment as she leaves kisses on Regina’s neck, chest and jawline. Then, Emma reaches the last button, and sits straight, wanting to take Regina’s full body in. But when she’s about to comment on Regina’s perfect body, she notices the brunette’s skin. 

It’s blank. No tattoos. And that can only mean one thing: trouble. 

“Why did you stop?” Regina asks annoyed, trying to reach for the front clasp on Emma’s bra. 

But Emma is faster and grabs Regina’s wrists. “Are you married?” she answers with a question, her voice town is a serious one.

“Not anymore.” 

“You don’t have any tattoos.” 

“Not that that’s any of your business,” the brunette spits out; “but I do have one.” she adds, showing her ankle, where she has the name  _ Robin _ , underlined with an arrow, tattooed. 

“Actually it is, because you’re going to regret this,” and she’s got no patience to deal with baggage after a hookup. 

“I asked you to fuck me. Not to give me a lesson about my life choices.” 

Emma moves from Regina’s body and sits next to the brunette. “Then consider this friendly advice...” 

“Out of all the womanizers in the city, I had to pick the one with a conscience...” Regina mutters as she sits hastily and starts buttoning her shirt. 

“Call it destiny.”

“I don’t believe in destiny.”

“I don’t either. And yet, here we are... a womanizer with a conscience and woman who thinks a one night stand will mend her broken heart.” 

Regina stops buttoning her shirt and looks up; “How did-” 

“I know a heartbroken girl when I see one. I was that girl, once upon a time.” She touches her wrist, it’s a subtle movement but it doesn’t go unnoticed by Regina.

“And that’s how you ended up as a womanizer?” 

Emma shrugs, neither confirming or denying the story. “So, what’s your story?” 

Regina looks at her, considering whether she should tell Emma about the recent events in her life or just walk out and find someone else.

“I’ve realized it’s better if you talk.” 

The brunette takes a deep breath. “Robin and I met in college through some mutual friends. They said we were made for each other, almost promised that he was my soulmate. That we were meant to be,” she pauses, remembering those days. “We went out on a couple of dates, fell in love, did everything by the book... Eventually ended up having sex…”

“And you woke up with his name.” Emma guesses, since she has seen the tattoo. 

“And I woke up with his name.” Regina caresses her ankle. She doesn’t turn around to meet Emma’s eyes. “He woke up with mine. We decided we didn’t care, that we’d beat destiny. There’s a lot of married couples where love is enough, after all. And then Henry, our son, came along. So it really felt like it. It felt like we were invincible. Robin had my name tattooed on his chest, right above his heart. We used to joke that it was a sign. Funny thing about chest tattoos, they are pretty visible. One day I entered into our bathroom without knocking and caught him shirtless,” her eyes water as she remembers the day, she takes a deep breath before saying: “His chest was blank.”

“Fuck.” Emma lets out, and she can only feel pity for Regina. Because knowing your husband cheated on you must hurt, but knowing that the person he cheated on you with was his soulmate - that must be hell. 

“He said it was a one time thing. That it wouldn’t happen again. That he wanted to make it right for Henry, be a good example to him... but then we found out that his soulmate, was pregnant with his child... and he left us. She closes her hands into tight fists, her nails digging into her palms. “And the worst part is I can’t find it in myself to hate him. How could we ever compare to his soulmate and their child?” 

Emma’s jaw dropped “You actually fucking believe that?” She jumped from the bed and kneeled in front of the brunette. “Fuck him, Regina. And fuck his soulmate and their unborn child, too,” she takes Regina’s fists and uncurls them. “Fuck them all. And fuck you if you don’t believe that you and your kid are enough. Everyone should be lucky to have someone so willing to love them!” she comments and she stands up quickly. “Fuck.” Pale hands ran through blonde curls. “I’m a womanizer, but if I had half of the love he had, I’d never had gone out looking for an affair.”

“So you understand. You understand why I can’t have his name alone in my body.” Regina walks towards where Emma is standing. “Why I need another name maring my skin. Please!”

“No.” 

“But -“ 

“No, Regina.” Emma places her hands on Regina’s arms. “I know you’re hurting and I know it feels like a good idea right now. But it won’t feel like that later. You’ll get my name tonight and you’ll regret it in a couple of days so you’ll go find another one, and another one and another one, and soon,” she points at herself, at the uncountable amount of names that are on display on her chest, neck and arms, “you’ll run out of space in your skin.” 

“So what do you suggest I do?” 

Emma raises her wrist, the one with the bracelet she was touching a while ago; “You cover it, and after a while you forget about it.” she answers gently. Then she lowers her pants to show a blackened scar on her hip; “or you cut it out.” 

Regina extends her hand to touch the scar, but Emma is faster returning the pants to her original position, leaving the brunette to wonder about the story behind it. 

“Some names are too painful to see.” Emma provides, but that is the only information she offers. 

Regina stays in silence for a long time. After the conversation they had, Regina has sobered up from the rush of adrenaline and her downed cosmo. She knows Emma is right, she had known that from the beginning but she had been too hurt to think clearly and when Zelena suggested it, it seemed like a good idea. But the fact remains that she hates going back home, she hates sleeping alone in the bed she shared with Robin for so many years, in a house with so many memories. 

She looks at Emma, the courage she had felt while tipsy had been replaced by shyness.“Do you think we could cuddle? It’s been a while since I slept alone.” 

“Yeah, I can do that.” Emma responds even though she knows it’s going to be hard as hell because she feels her body still starving for Regina’s. But she knows what Regina needs right now, and it’s really not a quick fuck. Plus, as much as she’d love to have sex with Regina, the brunette might misunderstand their night and what it means and Emma doesn’t do relationships. 

But when Emma wakes up the next day, with her tattooed arms wrapped around a mostly untarnished body, she remembers how it felt to be in Regina’s place, and she vows to help Regina through her break-up, to save the brunette from Emma’s fate. 

“I promise, Regina,” she whispers to the other woman, “that I’ll be by your side until you’re ready to love again.” 

“And then some?” Regina asks with eyes closed, only to open them a few seconds after. 

Emma nods; “And then some.” Regina smiles at the confirmation and Emma is dumbfounded by its beauty. 

Emma isn’t sure about many things in life, but today there’s one thing she is sure: this is the start of a beautiful friendship. 


	3. III

True to her word, Emma stayed on Regina’s life. What started as weekly night outs on the days that Regina’s son, Henry, stayed over at his aunt’s, turned into weekly lunches and dinners and other fun activities. And slowly but steadily, Emma found herself meeting Regina on a daily basis. Whether is was for a quick coffee after work, or a movie, or some class they decided to take together, they’d always meet otherwise the day would feel incomplete. 

Kathryn teases Regina about the constant blonde presence in her life, on a regular basis. Regina just brushes it off, commenting that jealousy doesn’t fit Kathryn. Their friendships are completely different and incomparable. Kathryn is Regina’s best friend and almost a sister to the brunette, they share every secret and doubt. But with Emma, Regina feels young and careless, like she’s a teen again and the world is not as cold and cruel as it really is. 

Like that one time, when Regina commented that she hated her bed because of all the nights she shared it with Robin, and Emma decided to bring a hatchet and destroy the furniture. Then, they had gone to Bed, Bath and Beyond and tried every queen size bed in the store until Regina was finally able to decide which one she liked the most. 

Or like when Emma invites her to meet Ruby, Emma’s neighbor and best friend, and the three of them sneak into the matinee at a local cinema and end up being kicked out after starting a popcorn war. Thank God she didn’t know any of the parents who had taken their children to the movies that day.

On Henry’s first day of summer vacation, Regina asks Emma if she wants to meet him, and the blonde accepts without thinking it twice. Regina talks so much about him that Emma feels as if she has already met him. She has been eager to meet the little man that Regina loves so much for a while now.

“You must be Emma…” a little boy comments as soon as he opens the door. He studies her from toes to head before adding; “I thought you’d be taller. I’m Henry.”

Emma smiles. While physically he doesn’t resemble Regina much, he has the exact same body language to the point where Emma can swear it’s Regina looking at her. 

“Mom’s in the kitchen,” he points out before turning around and disappearing into the house. 

Emma closes the front door behind her and follows the path Henry had taken. Regina’s house is decorated impeccably, and the architect inside of her can’t help but to walk slower and look around, studying every detail. Every picture, every object, they’re placed perfectly, as if a curator had organized the exhibition. 

“Are you coming or do you want to loiter around?” 

Emma turns around to see Henry’s head peeking from behind an open door. Who uses the word ‘loiter’ when they are 7 years old? Regina’s child, that’s who. She makes a mental note to never play scrabble with these two, she’s not a sore loser but that doesn’t mean she’ll sign up for a merciless beating. 

“We’re baking white chip brownies” he adds. 

“Who can say no to white chip brownies?” Emma asks and Henry smiles brightly at that. 

Emma and Henry hit it off immediately. They have similar taste in a lot of things, like superheroes, dinosaurs and Star Wars, and Emma realises that spending time with Henry is even easier than spending time with Regina, which is already pretty easy. 

Sometimes Emma and Henry gang up against Regina, specially when it’s vegan night. At some times it’s like having two children, but Regina knows Henry is safe with Emma so she doesn’t have to constantly worry about him when they are together. 

And to be honest, it’s nice to have another adult around Henry. Sure, he has his grandparents and aunt, and Kathryn and Fredrick, but it’s different with Emma. She enjoys playing with Henry and telling him funny stories and teaching him stuff. To Emma, Henry is not just Regina’s child but his own person, with whom she enjoys spending time. 

They never discuss about Emma’s tattoos in front of Henry. He already has the knowledge about what having a tattoo means but they, especially Emma, don’t want him exposed to her lifestyle. Sometimes, when they are alone, Regina asks about the tattoos, interested in the story behind them. Some stories are funny, some are sad. Regina always listens in silence and takes in as much of Emma’s past as she’s allowed to, grateful that Emma trusts her enough to share with her. 

Tonight they are sitting on the wooden two seat swing that Regina has on the porch. It’s getting colder, with autumn around the corner, and Regina wonders how much longer will they be able to enjoy the fresh air.

It feels surreal that they had only met a couple of months ago. It feels as if they have been in each other’s lives for years now. 

Next to her, Emma stretches and her shirt rides up, exposing her tattooed skin. The blonde leaves her arms up, fingers interlocked behind her neck, and she rests her head against them. 

“Lilies...” Regina traces a hand over the piece of art on Emma’s hip. It’s a pretty tattoo, one that could be mistaken for an art tattoo rather than a failed one night stand. Regina had seen it before, on the times they went swimming, but she had never asked about it. 

“Yes.” Emma answers looking at one of her favorite tattoos. “It used to be one lily, but it kept on growing.” 

“How?” Regina asks curious, noticing that below the flowers, there are few names that have been almost covered by them, as if some of the lilies came after. 

“I don’t know. It’s the same Lily, but I slept with her several times. We were different people each time we met, like, we changed in the meanwhile, so I guess fate counts it as someone else but not entirely.” The blonde shrugs, she doesn’t really understand the logic behind the whole tattoo-soulmate thing. “Lily has a row of swans on one of her ribs.” she adds with a small smile on her face. 

“Have you slept with other people, more than once?” Regina asks, and she knows this shouldn’t make her feel as jealous as it does. Emma is her friend, not her lover, she reminds herself. Even if she would be her lover, Emma’s tattoos were her past now. 

“Only with Lily and Graham.” she shows the tattoo on her ankle, it’s a simple name tattoo that goes up her achilles’ tendon; “we dated for a while. His tattoo never changed, though.” 

“Oh, I thought you only dated the person whose name you covered.” Regina comments, and immediately regrets it as she feels Emma tense up and quickly drop her arms from where they had been resting. 

“It’s late,” she comments and stands up abruptly. “I should get going.” 

“Emma -,” the brunette tries to stop her, to apologize for something she doesn’t understand. But Emma is already zipping her jacket completely. 

“I still have to pack for the weekend at your parents’. I’ll see you tomorrow. Should I pick you up or meet you at the airport?”

“Here is fine,” Regina answers defeated, because she knows better than to pressure Emma. 

But then, Emma smiles widely at her and hugs her tightly before saying; “Sweet dreams, Regina.” and jogs down the porch steps.

That night, Regina does have sweet dreams. Dreams of her, Henry and Emma doing everyday things like cooking breakfast or walking Henry to school, or going to the PTA meetings. When she wakes up the next day, it’s with a smile on her face. 

Suddenly, she knows. She knows; she’s in love with Emma Swan. 

And everything will be alright.


	4. IV

As the mayor of the little town where Regina had grew up, Regina’s mother organized various events. One of them was the ‘Stevenson; Last Summer Blast’. It was a yearly festival before school started and had fun activities for all ages. Everyone loved it, Henry included. Regina and Henry went every year. However, since they were only going to be in town for a short time it was better to just fly there, rather than waste their vacation making the drive. 

The problem was that Henry is not a fan of flying. It’s one of the reasons why Regina had invited Emma to spend the weekend with them. The other ones being that she wants her family to meet Emma, and that, quite simply, she enjoys spending time with the blonde. 

“Why is he so grumpy?” Emma asks as she helps Regina to carry their bags through security. 

“He doesn’t like flying.” Regina answers. “Robin used to watch these airplane disaster documentaries before travelling and Henry once saw an episode and it traumatized him.” 

Emma knows it was probably an accident but she can’t help but hating Robin a little bit more than she already hated him. “Hey, it’s almost time for boarding. Why don’t you go ahead with the kid and I’ll meet you there? I need to do some things.” 

Regina watches her disappear into the crowd. She asks Henry to stand in line while they wait to board the plane. 

“Where’s Emma?” Henry asks, as he looks around for her. 

“She said she’ll meet us on the plane” 

“What if this is a sign? What if we’re meant to miss this plane and the crash is meant to happen? What if -”

“Henry,” Regina interrupts him, “we’re going to be fine.” She wants to add that statistically there are more car than airplane crashes, but she worries that instead of calming Henry it’ll make him fear cars, too. 

They board the plane with no problem, but Henry remains anxious, she can tell. He keeps bouncing his legs and twisting his hands. Regina hates it when he fidgets. He keeps on asking about Emma, and Regina starts to wonder too if the blonde had abandoned them. She knows Emma wouldn't abandon her, but a small unhelpful voice keeps reminding her that she thought Robin wouldn't leave them either, and that a child afraid of flying was not what Emma had signed up for.

“Hey, Bud!” Emma plops next to Henry, interrupting Regina’s worries. “Sorry I’m late. I had to help someone.” 

“Who?” 

“Dino,” a stuffed dinosaur appears; “he’s super afraid of flying but he says that hugs calm him down. Do you want to keep him company?” 

Henry nods, grabs the Triceratops plush and hugs it tightly; “don’t worry, Dino. I’ll keep you safe.”. 

Emma smiles at him, and then raises her sight, her eyes meet Regina’s. She can feel butterflies in her stomach and she wonders if she’s suddenly afraid of flying too.

‘Thank you.’ Regina mutters and Emma waves it off. It was nothing. Except for Regina, and for Henry, it was not nothing. 

“I’m sure Dino is much happier now that he’s receiving the best hugs on earth.” Emma comments and receives matching adoring smiles from mother and son.

The flight lasts two hours, both Henry and Emma fall asleep in the middle of it. Henry, hugging the dinosaur and leaning on Emma. Emma’s head resting on top of Henry’s. Regina watches over the pair with loving eyes. This is the first time Henry has been comfortable enough to sleep on a plane and it warms her heart. Just when she thinks her heart can’t take more happiness, one of the flight attendants tells her she has a cute family. 

Her sister, Zelena, is the one waiting for them at the airport. Henry is the first to spot her, and takes off without warning, causing Regina to almost have a heart attack which is prevented by Emma taking her hand and gives it a squeeze. 

Zelena looks at their joined hands with a smirk on her face. 

“You must be Emma,” she extends her hand. “I thought you’d be shorter,” she adds. And Emma can’t help but wonder what’s with this family and heights. 

Regina is surprised that Zelena actually waits until Emma is out of earshot before making a comment. 

“So you banging her already?” 

“No,”

“Why not? She’s hot. I mean, look at that arse!” 

“Zelena!” 

“Sorry… her gluteus maximus is very well toned.” Zelena comments. “I can also tell her quadriceps femoris are properly trained.” 

“Quadriceps femoris?” Regina laughs. “Since when are you so well versed in human anatomy?” 

“Since I’m shagging a doctor.” 

“I hope you don’t use that language around my son.” 

“God forbid he learns words normal people use. He’ll be bullied in school if he speaks like a dictionary.” 

“How are mother and daddy?” 

“You’ll see them in less than an hour, ask them yourself,” Zelena’s not-so helpfully answers before she offers to help Emma with the bags, and by ‘help’ she means touching Emma’s arms and asking how much she can lift. 

Their childhood house hasn’t changed at all. The mansion at Mifflin Street still stands proud and tall. Just like every Mills should, Regina’s mother would often say. Even as Stevenson grew and modernized, the house didn’t undergo much change. 

“A castle fit for a princess,” Emma whistles next to her. “I’m talking about Zelena, since ‘you’re a queen’,” the blonde teases Regina,and Zelena laughs. 

“I like her. Let’s keep her.” 

Emma smiles proudly at the comments. She has always been eager to find a place to belong, and here is Zelena, effortlessly making her feel at home.

Before Regina can say anything, the front door opens and Cora and Henry Mills walk out of the house. 

“Regina! Henry!” the older woman waves at them. 

Henry gives them a bone crushing hug and then starts talking to his grandfather about his new friend Dino, tugging him to the house so they can play with all his toys. 

“You must be Regina’s friend,” Cora mentions as she scrutinizes Emma, her gaze stopping at the parts that are uncovered: her hands and her neck. Emma tugs her sleeves down in a poor attempt to hide her many tattoos. 

“Yes, Madam Mayor. My name is Emma Swan.” she extends a hand towards the older woman, which looking at it retrospectively she quickly regrets. 

Cora looks at the tattooed hand before raising her sight to her Emma’s face, over to Regina and then back to Emma. “‘Cora’ will be fine,” she comments before turning around and entering the house.

“Well, that went better than expected” Zelena claps Emma’s back. “She had Robin calling her ‘Madam Mayor’ for months.” 

Somehow it doesn’t make Emma feel relieved. She saw how Cora looked at the tattoos. 

The introduction to her father went smoother, then again, he had always been less strict than her mother. Regina spent some time with them before leaving the pair to play Monopoly with Henry Jr. and went to the kitchen to check if Zelena and her mother needed help in the kitchen. 

“Regina have you seen -”

“Her tattoos? Yes, mother. I have.” 

“I’m worried about you.” 

“Why? Because of Emma?” she snorts. “Mom, we’re just friends.” 

“I wasn’t born yesterday, Regina,” Cora says with a serious tone. “I can see how you two look at each other.” 

Regina blushes. How could her mother notice in two minutes? Regina herself had only figured it out a few hours ago. “Well, I don’t see how that would be a problem.” 

“Regina.” Cora takes a deep breath, and there’s a nurturing side of Cora that Regina hadn’t seen until after Robin left her and she loves this new side of her mother. “After Robin, I just don’t want to see you hurt again. Plus, Henry needs stability and nothing about Emma screams commitment.” 

“Oh, so this  _ is _ because of the tattoos. I didn’t think you’d be so prejudiced.” She crosses her arms, her body language speaking for itself. 

“Over a couple of tattoos, I am not,” Cora answers.“But her body is covered in them!” 

“That’s not the only thing that defines her,” Regina defends Emma. “She’s also loyal, and a great friend, and smart, and takes care of Henry. She helps him and teaches him stuff.”

“Regi-”

“No.” Regina interrupts her mother. “When I first met Emma, I wanted to sleep with her. To get another tattoo so that Robin could feel less important, but she stopped me, told me it was a mistake, prevented me from going down her path.”

Cora raises an eyebrow. 

“Emma is just someone who wants to receive and give love.”

“I thought you said you were only friends,” Zelena points out, unhelpful as always. 

“I’ll take any kind of love she’s ready to give me.” Regina shrugs and cleans invisible crumbs from the kitchen table. “I won’t pressure her until she’s ready for more.”

“What if she never wants more?” Cora asks. 

“Then I’ll be the best friend she can hope for.” Regina says with confidence. 

After Regina’s statement, they changed topics to lighter ones: the upcoming festival. Everything was already set but Cora was going through some last minute details, asking her daughters for their advice and suggestions. 

It all sounded so exciting. The festival was getting better with each passing year, and Regina couldn’t wait and see what her mother had planned for them this year. 


	5. V

With the numerous activities that Cora had planned for the Mills family, Regina doesn’t get a chance to talk to her father until the day they were meant to go back home. They are sitting in Henry’s studio, a table between them. There's a few hours left until their flight, so Regina decides to challenge her father to a chess match. 

“Emma is something else,” her father comments as Regina arranges the chessboard.

Regina sighs, “Not you too, Daddy,” 

“¿Qué?” 

“Mother already gave me the ‘_está llena de tatuajes_’ speech.” 

“I wasn’t referring to that, hija,” Henry moves first, he always plays with the whites. 

“Then what were you referring to?” The game flows easily, they always start with the same moves.

“That you seem happy, relaxed,” Henry comments, “more than you ever were with Robin. Your mother also sees it, even though she doesn’t say it.” 

Regina sits in silence and thinks for a while. Whether about what Henry just said, or her next move, he will never know. 

“Well, I _ am  _ happy,” she answers and then moves to take a white pawn. “I can’t say I was unhappy with Robin, nor can I really compare them… but I am happy now.” 

“And that’s what matters to me. And to your mother as well,” Henry moves another piece and Regina takes that one too. “Henry seems quite smitten with her too.” 

“She manages to be both a responsible adult and a playful child with him,” Regina comments. “She can go from teaching him about the laws of Newton to building a fort in the living room in a few seconds.” 

“Well, they definitely  _ gravitate  _ to each other,” it’s a weak attempt at a dad joke, but Regina lets it slide. 

“So, this is not about the tattoos?” 

“Have you ever read the quote ‘every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future’?” 

The brunette nods; “Oscar Wilde.”

“I had over 20 tattoos when I met your mother,” Henry confesses and moves a piece. 

“¡Papá!” she lets out, between shocked and embarrassed. The chess game is completely forgotten. She really wishes she hadn’t learned those details about her father’s sex life. 

“Every saint has a past,” Henry shrugs before looking out of the window, where Emma and Henry were playing basketball. 

Regina follows his gaze, and realizes what his father meant:  _ and every sinner has a future _ . 

“Check mate,” Henry comments casually and brings Regina back to the game. 

“You cheated!” Regina exclaims noticing half of her pieces are mysteriously missing from the board “¡Qué tramposo eres!” 

“En el amor y en la guerra todo está permitido,” he raises his hands while he says in spanish; ‘all is fair in love and war’. 

“That doesn’t apply to chess.” 

“Everything in life can be applied to chess.” 

“Tramposo.” Regina crosses her arms but laughs. With age, her father has become more and more willing to cheat just to say he won, but she doesn’t mind, and knows it’s just fun. She has been winning since she was fifteen, there’s a limit to a father’s pride. 

Soon, it’s time to leave. Zelena offers to take them to the airport, but Regina decides to take a cab instead. She likes to talk to Henry about nice things before flights and she knows her sister would be all but useful with that. 

The flight seems to be less traumatic for Henry, but he still clutches to his plush dinosaur. The trip tires Henry out and he falls asleep on the drive back to their house, so Emma offers to carry him to his bed. Regina accepts because even though she’s capable of carrying her son she enjoys these small domestic moments with Emma more than words could ever say. 

Regina just assumes that Emma will stay for a nightcap before leaving; it was not unusual for them to talk until all hours of the night, commenting on random things and sharing stories. 

“I managed to convince him to change into PJs, but there was no way to make him brush his teeth,” Emma grimances, out of all the things on her night routine brushing her teeth is the most important of her. 

Regina giggles. “I guess his teeth won’t rot if he skips one night,” she adds.

“Let’s pray he doesn’t make a habit out of it,” Emma points out as she takes the mug of hot chocolate that Regina offers her. She sounds extremely concerned about Henry’s teeth. It warms Regina’s heart to know the blonde cares that much. “I’m sorry.” 

“For not being able to convince Henry to brush his teeth?” Regina asks, confused. “I’m sure his teeth will be alright for one night.” 

“Not that… I might have overheard your conversation with your mother,” Emma answers and Regina swears she can see a faint blush on Emma’s cheeks. “The one you had a couple of days ago. I didn’t mean to! I was on my way to offer help when I heard she was complaining about my tattoos,” the blonde rambles. “Anyway, I left as soon as I realized you were having a private conversation.”

“It’s ok.” Regina reassures her, placing a hand over Emma’s. “Besides, you don’t have to apologize when it was my mother who was out of place.” 

“I don’t want to come between you and your mother.” 

“You could never,” the brunette shakes her head,

“It’s just…” Emma sighs; “You and Henry have already lost someone important in your life, I don’t want to be the reason you lose someone else.” 

“If it would be so easy to get rid of my mother, I would have brought home someone with tattoos a long time ago.” Regina laughs, “Trust me, it’s ok.” 

Emma doesn’t look convinced, but she guesses Regina knows her own mother better. Besides, Cora did invite her for Christmas. 

“I should get going,” Emma comments after a while. “Tomorrow is my friend’s babyshower. Are you sure you want to come with me? 

“Yes, Emma,” Regina tries to hide the excitement of meeting Emma’s friends. She has only met Ruby so far, but it feels like Emma knows every important person in Regina’s life and she’s still kind of an outsider in Emma’s life. 

“Alright, I’ll pick you up at five in the afternoon,” she stands up and takes her and Regina’s glasses to bring them to the kitchen. “Where is Henry staying?” 

“Kathryn’s. Do you mind if we drop him off on our way to your friend’s?” she asks, though she doesn’t even know if it’s actually on the way at all. 

“Yeah, sure,” Emma agrees while washing and rinsing the glasses. “Then I’ll try to be here a bit earlier, but I’m sure my friend won’t mind if we’re a bit late.” 

Regina dries and returns the glasses to its place as Emma takes her car keys and cellphone, she had left everything else inside her car. They walk together towards the door in comfortable silence. 

It isn’t until they are outside the house that Regina speaks again. “Thank you for coming with us,” she places a hand on Emma’s arm and squeezes in gently, “It meant a lot to me that you got to meet my family.” 

Emma gives Regina one of her million volt smiles. “I had a great time,” she places a kiss on Regina’s cheek. “See you tomorrow,” the blonde says in an almost whisper before jumping in her car. 


	6. VI

The Knights had a pool in the garden, which makes them Henry’s favorite grown ups during summer and early fall. The boy had no problem when Regina told him he’d be spending the day with Kathryn and Fredrick instead of with them. 

Emma taps on the wheel with her thumbs as she waits for Regina to drop Henry at her friends’ house. Kathryn is waiting for them at the door and, after hugging Regina and Henry, waves at Emma. She had met the Knights few weeks ago when the couple invited them to a summer party. Kathryn had been extremely nice and welcoming, but Emma had definitely gotten along better with Fredrick; they both loved Maine Black Bears and past a great deal of time commenting on their football season while watching over the barbeque. 

There is nothing to be nervous about, Emma repeats to herself as she sees Regina hugging Henry goodbye before walking towards the car. She was taking Regina to meet her friends. Of course Regina had already met Ruby, but she had yet to meet the rest of the gang. 

Today, it was Marion’s baby shower and she had told Emma to bring the woman that had captivated Emma’s attention. To be honest, Marion and Emma weren’t really close friends, but had the same group of close friends so more often than not spent time together. While Emma doesn’t really care about Marion’s opinion, she does hope that Mary Margaret, Mulan and Belle will like Regina. She can’t find a reason why they wouldn’t like her, but she can’t help but worry. 

“You seem nervous,” Regina points out. She has heard everything about Emma’s friends and she doesn’t understand why it what Marion thinks about her matters so much to Emma. 

Emma hums noncommittal, too afraid to be called out on what would be an obvious lie and rings the doorbell.

A few seconds following the bell, the door opens and they are greeted by an average-built man, who Emma assumed was Marion’s fiance. There is nothing special about him, Marion could do better. Then again, so could this man. 

As Emma is about to introduce themselves, the man opens his mouth and lets out a question: “Regina?” 

“Robin?” the brunette looks confused.

“What are you doing here?” the man asks, slightly closing the door behind him.

“She’s my plus one.” Emma slides her hand around Regina’s waist, “and who are you?”

“I'm the baby’s father.” 

It momentarily throws her out of the game until her brain scrambles to put the pieces together. Marion. Baby. Soulmate.  _ Robin _ .  _ Cheating _ .  _ Baby _ .  _ Marion _ . If it was actually possible for a heart to fall into the pit of a stomach, Emma’s would have done that. 

“Marion!” Emma roars as she pushes past Robin. 

She finds her in the kitchen, surrounded by Ruby, Belle, Mary Margaret and Mulan, who are gushing about all the baby stuff Marion has received so far.

Ever since Marion found her soulmate and all her tattoos disappeared, she has been wearing as little clothing as it was socially acceptable. It had bothered Emma back then, when she saw Marion for the first time sans ink, because both her and Marion had talked about their mistakes and it felt like Marion was rubbing salt on Emma’s wounds. As if she wanted, and still wants, Emma to know that she is better than her. 

Today, the sight makes her angry for a completely different reason. It was because Marion’s skin was blank at the expense of Regina’s happiness. 

“You slept with a married man!” the blonde accuses, finger pointing at her very pregnant friend. 

“We are  _ soulmates _ !” Marion explains, as if Emma was stupid.

“That doesn’t make cheating any better!” Emma replies. 

“Marion, babe... how do you know this person?” 

“I slept with her.” Emma spits. 

“We’re friends.” Marion answers at the same time. “Who’s that?” she asks trying to change topics and Emma realizes that Regina had followed Robin into the kitchen. 

“She’s my friend, the one you said to bring.” Emma answers, “she’s also Robin’s ex-wife and the mother of the child Robin left because of you.” 

“Well this is awkward,” Ruby comments unnecessarily while she sips her mimosa. 

“How dare you judge me?” Marion fights back with the same anger. “You sleep around with people all the time!” 

“Not with married people, I don’t.” Emma retorts. “And if I did, I wouldn’t go on a high horse claiming that it’s because we are soulmates. You destroyed a family, and for what? So you could go around gloating about not having tattoos anymore?” 

“Emma,” Mary Margaret steps around the kitchen island to stand in front of the agitated blonde. “I know you’re angry but need to calm down, you might say something you’ll regret later.” she says in an almost whisper to Emma. 

“There won’t be a later,” Emma comments. “You disgust me. This friendship is over” she adds, looking at both Marion and Robin before grabbing Regina by the wrist and walking out of the house, not even leaving the presents they had bought for the baby, she’ll probably donate them later. 

So much for worrying if her friends would like Regina. 

Emma suggests Regina to go to the rooftop and wait for her while she makes something for them to drink. Ever since the renovations had ended a couple of days ago, Emma found herself spending more time on the restored rooftop. 

Without wanting to sound pretentious, she and Ruby had done a damn good job. Previously, the place had been a plain concrete floor that was too hot to tan and too unfurnished to eat or use for a party, overall it was too abandoned to show to other people. 

Now they had covered the concrete with wooden tiles, they had built a wooden pergola and had bought a lot of big pots so that plants could grow and give some natural shade. Below the pergola there was a table, big enough to fit twelve people. On the other side of the rooftop, they had placed a fire pit surrounded by a cozy sitting area. 

Emma finds Regina sitting next to the empty fireplace. She considers lighting up the pit for a moment, but decides against it when she sees how beautiful Regina looks under the moonlight. 

“I - um - made some hot chocolate.” Emma raises both mugs. “I was considering something stronger, but since I still have to drive you back and pick up Henry I decided against it.” 

“I had planned on Henry staying over at Kathryn’s,” she comments, “but thank you for your consideration, and hot chocolate is fine.” she adds. 

Emma sits next to Regina before handing her a mug. Regina covers them with the blanket before taking it. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“What for?” Regina asks, confused. Emma finds it odd how calm she looks. Especially when less than six months ago she was willing to sleep with a stranger to ease her pain. 

“For today,” Emma answers. “It was all a mess. If I’d have known before I -,” 

“You couldn’t have. Even if you’d have known his name, there’s a lot of Robins out there.” Regina places a hand over Emma’s, and it feels so warm in contrast to the cool night. “And it’s alright. I don’t mind. I don’t really think about Robin anymore.” 

“How?” 

And then Regina smiles at her, so brightly that the full moon falls pale next to her, “Because now I’ve got you.” 

_ Now I’ve got you _ . Those words make Emma’s heart beat faster, like a horse who has been set free. 

And then, she knows. She knows two things. 

The first one is that she, Emma Swan, womanizer and commitment-phobe, is in love with Regina Mills. 

The second one, is that she’s fucked. 


	7. VII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: panic attack

After that, Emma finds herself waking up, she’s laying next to different bodies, her newest conquest, her latest one night stand. She always turns to the other side, her back to whoever she had sex with, and cries silently. 

She stays away from the cute brunette women who try to flirt with her, though. She’s too afraid that they’ll remind her of Regina. 

Emma doesn’t feel much these days, just the heavy emptiness in her chest, as if her heart has left her body and it was replaced by a 10 kilo weight. Her soul is also heavy with sorrow and it feels like she might drown any moment now. 

Every new tattoo feels like rubbing alcohol on a cut, it stings and burns. She knows with time it will get better. She had gotten over Neal, so she’d get over Regina. Or at least, she hopes. 

The only difference is that Neal had walked out of her life, but she had promised Regina to stay in hers. Every time they meet, it's a constant reminder of a love she will never have. Every time she feels herself getting lost on Regina’s eyes it’s a dagger straight to her heart. 

She wishes, between tears, that she had never met Regina, that she had never befriended her, that she never had met Henry and fallen in love with both of them, but above everything she wishes she could be enough. Enough to be worth of Regina and Henry and their perfect little family. 

But she’s damaged. Ever since her Neal used her and abandoned her, she’s been damaged and broken. And every time she sees herself in the mirror, she’s reminded of her lack of value. She doesn’t deserve someone as Regina. 

Because Regina is like diamond and Emma is like coal. In theory, they are both the same, since they are made of the same element: carbon. But the difference is that Regina is rare and pure and Emma, well, Emma just pollutes the world. 

Regina doesn’t comment on Emma’s new tattoos, but Emma is sure she has noticed them, she has stopped asking about Emma’s tattoos altogether. It’s starting to put some distance between them. Regina doesn’t smile as much anymore and they meet less often, and it should make Emma happy because it gives her space to get over the brunette. But it doesn’t. It makes her even more miserable. 

And if Emma would be honest with herself, she’d admit that she doesn’t know what she wants. That she’s scared of losing Regina. And it seems like no matter what she does, she will end up losing Regina. If she keeps on sleeping with people, she’ll lose Regina. If she tells Regina how she feels, she’ll lose Regina. If she sleeps with Regina, she’ll lose Regina. Plus, knowing with certainty that she’s not Regina’s soulmate will kill her. It’s not as if she doesn’t know that already, but she doesn’t want to have Regina’s name tattooed between two other meaningless names to know that they are not destined to be. 

By winter, Henry and their small town are the only things tying them together. And it starts to feel as if they were Henry’s divorced parents. They only meet with Henry present, their plans revolve around the child. Regina still hasn’t restricted her involvement in Henry’s life and she’s grateful for that. She has already lost Regina, and she doesn’t know how she’d survive after losing Henry too. 

Until one day, she finds out. 

“Hey, I know I’m a little bit late, but I’m sure that if we leave now we can still make it to the film.” she says as soon as Regina opens the door.

“That won’t be necessary.” Regina answers, her voice is a cold as the winter evening.

“Sorry?”

“Henry left with Fredrick.”

“Are you kidding me?” she asks angrily, “I bought those tickets to go watch this with him.”

“I don’t think you should spend time with Henry anymore” 

And those words make Emma’s world stop and her heart crash in tiny pieces. She’s about to tell Regina she has no right to forbid her to see Henry when she remembers that Henry is not theirs, they are not divorced mommies. Henry is just Regina’s. 

“What the fuck Regina?” the blonde manages to let out. She can’t catch her breath. She can feel the start of a panic attack. 

“What the fuck?” Regina shoves Emma. “That’s what I’m asking you!” 

Emma tries to calm her racing heart, tries to steady herself as the world around her starts to spin. This can’t be happening. Regina, who is nonethewise to Emma’s attack, continues with her rant:

“You fill your mouth with all that talk about not sleeping with people to fix mistakes and running out of skin, yet you keep on getting new tattoos. Did you think I wouldn’t notice? I decided not to ask because I didn’t want you to run away like you always do when we get too into your emotions. But you know what happened yesterday? Henry noticed.” 

_ Henry noticed _ . Emma is gonna be sick. She’s gonna vomit. She tries to take deep breaths but it feels like her throat constricts more every time she tries to inhale. 

Regina goes on, oblivious to Emma’s struggle, “And he asked why do you try so hard to find a soulmate. He asked if we’re not enough for you. He asked if you’d leave like his dad did.” 

“You know,” Emma’s voice shakes “that’s not true.” She’s breathless “You know I’d never leave,” it sounds more like wheezing at this point. 

“Then why?” Regina pushes. “I’ve tried to hard to find out what went wrong! To know what I should apologize for!” 

She wants to understand. And who can blame her? They had been alright until they weren’t. Regina had no idea what she had done wrong. Nothing. She had done nothing wrong. This was all Emma’s fault. For falling in love with the one person she shouldn’t have fallen in love with. 

Emma places a hand against the door frame, it anchors her. Her panic attack is slowly going anyway and now there’s only hurt. Hurt and exhaustion. She can’t - she doesn’t want to bury her feelings anymore.

Here comes, the truth. There’s nothing to hide anymore, there’s nothing left to lose. Regina hates her, Henry is hurt. Emma will never forgive herself for any of those things. She’ll just get it out of her chest and try to move on. Even though she doesn’t know how to live anymore. There’s a past she can’t go back to and a future she’ll never have. 

“Do you really wanna know why?” Emma takes a deep breath. “It’s because of you. It’s because when I’m with you I feel happy and I’m in lo-,” she stops abruptly and takes another deep breath. “When I’m with you and with Henry, I feel alive and complete, like I haven’t felt in a long time. And then you leave and I feel so empty it actually hurts…” 

Emma closes her fists as tight as she can, she feels her nails hurting her the palms of her hands. But it is nothing compared to what her heart is feelling.

“So yes,” Emma adds “I go out and I sleep with people because feeling nothing is better than feeling the pain of not having you!” 

Regina’s speechless, she’s trying to digest what Emma had just told her. She’s trying to understand the reason behind Emma’s actions. Why Emma had never said anything before. Why she decided to go through this unnecessary pain on her own. 

But Emma can’t hear what Regina is thinking, and she takes the silence as rejection. She had been expecting it from the beginning after all. 

“I didn’t want to say anything because I know I’m not good enough for you… I promised to be in your life and I wanted to keep that promise, that’s why I tried to get over you, so that we could still be friends.” There’s unshed tears in Emma’s eyes and it breaks Regina’s heart to think that the blonde thinks so little of herself. “Goodbye, Regina.” she says and turns away, hoping she won’t cry until she’s inside her car. But then, there’s a hand grasping her forearm. 

Regina spins Emma and slams her against the door before smashing their lips together. She puts all her feelings into the kiss, even though she knows she’ll have to tell Emma how she feels. And she’ll have to tell her several times before the blonde understands. It takes a few seconds for Emma to grasp what’s going on before she responds the kiss with equal passion. 

“You stupid woman,” Regina says in a whisper when they separate. “If you didn’t want us to leave, you should have said so. We hate to see you leave, _I_ hate to see you leave.” 

“And what happens when we eventually sleep together and my name is tattooed on your skin?” Emma asked, biting her lip. 

“You know I’ve never cared about that,” 

“But what about the other people… your mother… they’ll never approve.” 

“I don’t care.”

“You say that now.” 

“Emma,” she sighs. “If I cared, I wouldn’t have spent time with you to start with. If I was embarrassed about you and your past I wouldn’t have brought you into Henry’s life, I wouldn’t have introduced you to my parents.” Regina pets Emma’s hair. “I love you Emma.  _ You _ , with your tattoos and your scars. I love you entirely. I love your past because it made you who you are, I love your present because it makes my day brighter and I love your future because there are so many things that I can’t wait to share with you.” 

“Regina-” 

“You once told me that if you had half of the love Robin had, you would never go looking for someone else. Do you still think that?” She asked, and Emma nodded in an uncharacteristic shy manner. “Well, you have double the amount of love that he ever had, so please stop -” her voice breaks, “please stop looking for other people.” 

“But-” 

“I want you, Emma,” the brunette interrupts Emma one more time. “But if you’re with me, then you’re only with me. I can’t handle another broken heart.” she adds, a tear running down her cheek. “Promise me, that you believe me when I say that I want you and I’ll want you with or without your tattoo on my skin. Promise me, you’ll stay.” 

“I promise. I’ll stay as long as you’ll have me.” Emma answers, because being with Regina is a gift, and she’ll treasure it as long as she’s allowed. 

“And then some.” Regina adds with a small smile. And it brings Emma back to the first promise she made to Regina, to stay in her life until she’s ready to love again. 

“And then some.” the blonde repeats before kissing Regina once again. Between kisses Emma realizes that she has actually kept her promise to Regina. 

They slowly make their way towards Regina’s room. Stopping every few steps to kiss and whisper sweet words to each other. 

When they reach the bedroom, Emma kills the lights. For the first time in her life, she is really self conscious of her body. Tonight, she doesn’t want Regina seeing her tattoos. She doesn’t want a reminder of all those nights of empty promises and rushed sex. 

With the bedroom lights off, the only thing Emma can really see is Regina and how she just seems to  _ glow  _ beneath her fingertips. And damn, she’ll never find a prettier sight than Regina in love. She can’t believe this woman loves her. With all her scars and tattoos and mistakes. Regina loves her. 

She didn’t even know she was lost, but she sees the brunette’s eyes she knows she has been found. She kisses every inch of Regina’s skin, as her fingers delicately trace the brunette’s body and sex has never felt this intimate. 

Every moan that escapes Regina’s mouth sounds like a beautiful melody. Every quiver and wiggle look like a part of a choreography. Regina is pure art. 

Emma realizes, just before she falls asleep with an arm wrapped around Regina’s waist, that this is the first time she has made love to someone.


	8. VIII

The morning after comes far too fast for Emma’s liking. Through closed eyelids, she can understand that the sun is shining. It warms her face, but it doesn’t calm her down. Because she knows that when she opens her eyes she’ll have to face the reality of not being Regina’s soulmate. She wishes she could die without not knowing for sure, she would die happy rather than life miserable the rest of her life.

“Emma,” she hears Regina call her, as she feels a hand gently shaking her shoulder.

“Mmm,” 

“Emma, wake up.”  Regina's voice sounds soft and happy, Emma would kill to hear her like this every day.

“No,” she pouts as a small child, and Regina can’t help but smile at how adorable she looks. 

“Come on, Emma!” the brunette insists.

“Don’t want to.” 

“We don’t have to get up, just open your eyes.” 

Emma feels the mattress rise and dip and deduces Regina must be changing positions from a laying to a sitting position. 

“No, I’ll keep my eyes closed for the rest of my life. I don’t want to see myself.” and she knows she sounds immature but there’s nothing she can do about it. She has never wanted to be someone’s soulmate as badly she wants to be Regina’s.

“If I cover you up, will you open your eyes?” Regina suggests and Emma shakes her head in negation. “Oh for god's sake, Emma! Just open your eyes.” 

“I don’t wanna see your new tattoo, either.” 

“Emma, I swear to God, if you don’t open your eyes right now, I’ll go ‘bird box’ on you.” she gives a last warning, she knows Emma will get the reference to the Sandra Bullock movie. 

Emma huffs before sitting up and crossing her arms. Then finally, she opens her eyes and is greeted with Regina’s beautiful smile. 

“Good morning, Emma.” 

“Morning, Regina.” she answers less enthusiastically than the brunette looking everywhere but at Regina. 

Then, without a warning, Regina shoves an ankle in front of Emma’s face. It’s impossible to avoid. 

“What the -?” 

“Look,” Regina swings the legs up and down before nonchalantly asking: “isn’t something missing?” 

“Yes, yes. Your tattoo is missing.” Emma answers without thought. “Wait,” she stops and thinks about what she just saw and said as she holds Regina ankle to examine it better; “your tattoo is missing… how? Did you cover it? Because it’s not funny.” She licks her thumb and then rubs the skin, trying removing whatever Regina put over the tattoo. 

It’s just then that Emma notices something about her own body seems weird. She looks down at her hands. The fingers on her right hand don’t spell R - U - B - Y anymore, and on her left palm Mulan’s name is gone too. She starts studying every inch of her body and it’s all clean. No tattoos. 

Emma touches every part of her body, as if she can’t believe it, as if she’s waiting for the paint to come off. To this magic to wear out. She finally removes the wristband and sighs, Neal’s name is also gone - the last bad memory of that relationship. She can’t believe it. 

“I - how?” 

“I think it’s pretty self explanatory,” Regina rolls her eyes but she’s basically glowing with happiness. “Let’s take a bath.” she says, as if the topic of the tattoos was not relevant. 

Regina stands from the bed and takes the sheets to cover her body as she walks towards the bathroom. A naked Emma is left behind in the now cold bed, but the sight of a Regina with disheveled hair is enough to keep her warm. 

As soon as the brunette passes the threshold, she drops the bed sheet and slightly turns her head to look at Emma and ask; “Are you coming? And yes, I do mean that in more ways than one.” 

And the blonde can only moan and jump out of bed; “You’re gonna be the death of me.” 

They fill the bathtub instead of using the shower. The brunette uses some salts that she had gotten from Kathryn a while ago, but never had a reason to use them. It makes the room smell like lavender. Regina goes in first, sandwiched between the tub’s ceramic and Emma. There’s no other place she’d rather be. 

Emma rediscovers her skin as Regina traces her fingers over it and places soft kisses on her shoulders. She had forgotten about almost all of her moles and birthmarks, the sunspots on her shoulders, the little marks that had stayed after she got chickenpox, the childhood scars. 

Now, instead of telling Regina the story behind her tattoos, Emma tells the story about her scars. Like when she decided to do a backside heel and flip on her skateboard, or when Ruby and her  _ borrowed _ a shopping cart and rode it downhill. 

Regina caresses the scars and then stops the scar on Emma’s hip. Emma had told her, on the first night they met that if the memory of the tattoo hurts too much, she can cut it out. It’s only a scar now, the name Emma so desperate wanted out of her body was gone for good. She has wondered about the story since the first time she saw it, but she has never asked, maybe the memory was too painful for Emma to share. 

“Someday,” the blonde promises when she notices what Regina is touching.

It’s not like she’s not ready, because if there’s someone she can trust with all her wrong decisions and dark secrets it’s Regina. It’s just that she doesn’t want to ruin today. 

Emma feels truly clean for the first time in a long time. She’s almost sure it has nothing to do with the bath they are taking together. 

“Maybe, in a different life... we would have gotten it right the first time.” 

“Emma, I would have fallen in love with you anyways. With no tattoos or with them. I wouldn’t care if you’re homeless, or a sheriff, or a doctor... I love you. And I can’t imagine a reality where that wouldn’t happen.”

Regina is trailing her fingers over the places where her favorites tattoos had been. She wonders if Emma misses them, if she’ll get an artist tattoo now. 

“Although,” Regina admits, “If we would have slept together the first night we met, like  _ I  _ wanted to, we could have saved a lot of time and heartbreak.” 

Emma shakes her head. “We would have both panicked,” she reasons, “I kind of like it this way better. Back then, you would have been just someone else I slept with that happened to be my soulmate. We would have felt trapped by destiny, we wouldn’t even try to understand. At least I know I wouldn’t. This way, I got to meet you. For me, it’s not lost time since I got to fall in love with you properly.”

This, new, romantic side of Emma that Regina is discovering now is too pure, and Regina is happy that she’s the only one that gets to see it. 

“I’m so happy they are all gone,” Emma admits. It’s barely a whisper. She trails her hand over Regina’s ankle, over the place where Robin’s name used to be. “And I’m really happy it was you. I wanted it so bad. This, with you… Even though I would have been happy with just being around you. I fought my feelings for what felt like an eternity, because I couldn’t risk losing you.” 

Regina snakes her arms around Emma’s stomach and rest her cheeks against Emma’s. ”Never. You’ll never lose me.” 

Emma struggles but manages to turn around, sitting with her legs crossed. Regina’s tub is not really big enough to fit them both sitting face to face but Emma tries her best. 

“I love you,” she cups Regina’s cheeks and the brunette smiles at her. She wishes she could freeze time and stay in this moment forever. “I can’t remember if I said it yesterday, but I wanted you to know it.”

The brunette kisses her forehead before adding; “I can’t remember either, but who’s keeping count anyway?” 

“I’m sorry I was not honest about my feelings from the beginning, and that I hurt you. And above all that I hurt Henry.” she confessed. “I swear that I’ll never lie to you again. And while I can’t promise I won’t hurt you, know that if I do, it will not be intentionally.” 

Regina kisses her softly at first, but soon the kisses turn into passionate and without thinking too much, Emma drags Regina on top of her. 

They don’t leave the tub until much after. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The versions of Emmas that Regina mentions is a low key tribute to my favorite SQ fics/authors.  
"Homeless" is from [Always Alone](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6831130/chapters/15592105).  
I realize "sheriff" could be from a lot of them, but it's from [Let Stars be My Asterisks ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2275560/chapters/5000244).  
And "doctor" is from [In Love and War](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4876795/chapters/11180881)


	9. Short snippets of the future

“Well,” Emma comments as her best friend slides into the booth seat in front of her, “Don’t you look smug?” 

“I have a _huuuuge_ gossip,” she imitates Trump. “Let me tell you something, it’s tremendous, fantastic -” 

“Ok, Donald. Can you please get to the point?” Emma knows that Ruby has been practicing because she was going as the president for their Halloween party, but she has no patience today.

“I saw Marion and Robin both trying, and failing I might add, to cover their tattoos.” 

Emma spits her drink and coughs what had gone down the wrong pipe; “Are you serious?” 

“Yes! They both got tattoos on their faces!” Ruby hands her a couple of napkins, “So, I obviously had to ask Belle, and guess what?” 

“They cheated on each other…”

“They cheated on each other!” Ruby says at the same time as she slams the table, “and turns out that sleeping with your soulmate erases your tattoos only works once.” 

“Serves them well,” Emma shrugs and goes back to her food. 

* * *

“Cora called today,” Emma says and she plops next to Regina in their bed, “Something about you wanting to skip their Fourth of July celebration.” 

“Yes,” Regina removes her reading glasses that Emma considers extremely sexy, and looks at her, “I feel bad we spend most of our free time with my family.” 

“Regina, I love your family.”

“But still.” 

“Look, if you want to stay here, fine. But I really don’t mind. Also, Cora said Zelena agreed to bring the doctor she’s been dating, and I don’t want to miss Cora meeting him.” Emma takes Regina’s glasses from her hands and puts them on Regina’s face. “Now, can we play the hot librarian and the hot chick who doesn’t keep quiet in the library?” she adds wiggling her eyebrows. 

They do go and celebrate Fourth of July with the Mills. Zelena’s boyfriend, Dr. Chad Pardue, is charming, but not enough for Cora to allow him to call her by her given name. 

Emma doesn’t say it outloud, but she takes it as a win. 

* * *

Emma is going down the stairs when she catches a glimpse of Henry’s nape. She grabs him by the shirt’s collar and pulls him towards her. 

“What. The. Hell, Hen?” 

Henry’s hand goes instinctively towards the tattoo; “It’s not what you think.” 

“When I gave you the talk last week I didn’t expect you’d go and sleep with the first person you met!” she knows Henry is fifteen now, but she hoped he had waited until he found someone more meaningful. “Your mother is going to skin me alive!”

“It’s fake!” Henry exclaims smudging the name Violet with his hand for an added effect. His cheeks are red as a tomato. “Oh god, this is more embarrassing than the talk!” he adds before he disappears into his room. 

When Henry does get his first tattoo weeks later, it’s the same name but on his right forearm. They don’t acknowledge it. 

* * *

They get married on the Mills mansion on the date of their second anniversary. All their friends flew to the small town to see the pair tie the knot. 

It isn’t until late into the night, when most guests had left and only her family and close friends were left behind that Emma studies the scene. She’s sitting alone while she sees Regina slow dancing with her father, her cheek resting on her father’s shoulder. Then Regina looks up and looks at her, and her eyes are brighter than all the decorating lights they had put on. 

She’s breathtaking. 

She can’t believe she gets to call Regina “wife” for the rest of her life. 

It’s then when she realises that she made a lot of mistakes in her life, but they were the right mistakes, because they brought her here.   


F I N 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title inspired by James TW - Right Into Your Love.
> 
> Thanks for reading! I hope you all enjoyed :D Please don't forget to go to [RedDove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedDove/pseuds/RedDove)'s  
page and give her some love!


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